Epic’s crazy popular battle royale experiment thingy, Fortnite – you know the one – it’s got celebrities and characters from, like, everywhere. In what other world can you have King Kong with Yoda on his back shooting at Ariana Grande? Weird, right?
But hey, I’m greedy. More crossovers, please! Here’s who I think should jump into the Fortnite chaos next. Just… don’t ask me why.
### Grimace
Right off the bat – Grimace. Yeah, the big purple McDonald’s blob. Imagine him going wild with a gun. That’ll teach those TikTok teenagers who laughed at his milkshake. You guys at Epic and McDonald’s, make it happen, alright?
### The Burger King Guy
Speaking of fast food royals, remember the creepy King from Burger King ads? Give that royal a weapon, too! If you hated those ads, cool news – you get to take him out multiple times. Win-win?
### Agent 47
Why isn’t Agent 47 here? Seriously? He’s literally a hitman. Perfect for Fortnite. People want it. I want it. Make it stop being a dream.
### Ask Jeeves Butler
Okay, hear me out. Remember Jeeves from AskJeeves? Retro is trendy. Epic should totally do a 90s-themed season and toss in Jeeves. Teens will love it because… nostalgia? Or irony? Whatever works.
### Cal Kestis
Star Wars is all over Fortnite, so where’s Cal Kestis? He’s a red-headed Jedi. Probably super cool to play. Maybe when his next game drops, they’ll figure this out. But, like, sooner would be fun.
### Gaston
Disney and Epic are tight nowadays, right? Gaston should come strutting in. Imagine him with an emote where he pops his chest and devours eggs. Important stuff here, folks.
### Star Trek’s Crew
Why isn’t Star Trek in Fortnite, Paramount? Are you allergic to money? I really need to see Captain Kirk battling it out with Darth Vader. Come on, let’s make it real.
### Samus Aran
Nintendo, what’s up with ignoring Fortnite? Samus from Metroid shooting stuff would be a dream. Xbox and PlayStation characters are in, so what’s your deal? Loosen up a bit, will ya?
### Weird Al
Lastly, for a personal favorite: Weird Al! Give him a giant accordion glider and his signature look. Let’s have a whole Weird Al fest. Much cooler than, say, a Metallica season. Plus, it’ll make my wife smile, which is like, the universe’s ultimate win. So, what do you say, Epic? And Al, if you’re reading, time to join the fun, okay? Cool.
